Venting on Air Travel

“Seriously? 7”

We all know that life is not fair and mean people suck. For those of you who have a sense of justice, it can be tough to hold your tongue when you see things that are just not right. In order to keep the peace, it is much better to just let it go. However, if you are like us, it will make you feel a LOT better if you get it off your chest and vent. This is where you can do that. Here are some examples for today.

PEOPLE SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO TAKE AND PASS A COURSE ON PROPER AIR TRAVEL BEHAVIOR BEFORE BEING ALLOWED TO BOARD A PLANE

The first lesson of the course should be a lesson in following rules.

No one is exempt from the simple rules that exist for the safety of every traveler. You MUST fasten your seat belt. I don’t want your 200-pound body landing on top of me if we hit major turbulence.

You MUST turn off your electronics, raise your seat-back, and give up your drink when the flight attendant tells you to. It’s not fair that the other 400+ passengers all have to stop playing Candy Crush, sit upright, and lose the last sips of their beverage while you continue to break the rule. You are not special. On an airplane, you are just a passenger like everyone else.

You MUST NOT arrive late to board, congregate in the aisle, use the restroom or stand up when told to be seated for take-off. You are literally delaying the flight & affecting everyone’s schedules.

 

The second lesson of the course should be a reminder of common courtesy and socially acceptable actions/behaviors.

         It is not ok to bring smelly, nasty food, nail polish remover, or any other odorous substance onto an airplane. You are in an airtight tube from which no one can exit. You not the only one on the plane. You are assaulting everyone’s sense of smell.

         On the same note, it is NOT ok to fart at will on an airplane. Please hold in your nasty gas until you can get into the restroom and expel it there. The same holds true for burping. Be considerate of others. This is just plain disgusting!

         Please use your “inside voice.” You do not have to yell when talking on the phone or to the passenger next to you. We can all hear you & some of us want to sleep! Keep it down!

         The seats may be packed together like sardines, but have some respect for personal boundaries. Do not kick, tap, drape your arm over or in any other way touch MY seat. It is MY seat . . . MINE, NOT YOURS! Get your sweater off my arm!

 

Finally, the third lesson of the course should be a tutorial on how to exit the airplane.

         It is utterly rude and obnoxious to jump up the second the little bell chimes, grab your luggage out of the bin and head to the front of the plane. Wait your turn! If my seat is in front of yours, I get out before you. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.

         When you are exiting the plane in front of me, you must get up and retrieve your bag swiftly, and systematically move yourself down the aisle and out of the plane. Continuing walking without stopping. Do NOT turn around to check if you forgot anything. Do NOT stop to chat with the flight attendant. Get your butt off the plane as quickly and efficiently as possible. We are all waiting!

         If you have a special need, an unruly child, an elderly travel companion, or some other hindrance, please be considerate and wait until everyone else gets off before you attempt to do so. It sounds harsh, but your problem is just that . . . it is YOUR problem to deal with, not the problem of every other passenger on the plane. Don’t make it our problem too!

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