This advice sounds like it comes from Captain Obvious. Of course, you shouldn’t lie. Everyone knows that lying is wrong. Lies are by definition told with an intent to deceive others. Even preschoolers know that it is not good to be a liar. Why then, are we offering such obvious advice? The answer to that question may surprise you . . .
Many of you do not know what it is like NOT to lie. A large percentage of you lie each and every day, sometimes without even thinking about it. All those lies, no matter how big or how small, have a negative effect on your subconscious mind. They create a kind of clutter or cognitive dissonance in your brain.
“In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance
is the mental discomfort experienced by a person
who simultaneously holds two or more
contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values.” (Wikipedia)
We want you to rid yourself of all that clutter, so you can come to know what it feels like to be a truthful, authentic person. It is an extremely freeing way to live. A clear mind will change your life for the better in so many ways. You will do more good, and in turn, receive more good things in life. You will feel more relaxed, open, and unburdened. Adopting a life of truth will also help you reduce depression, anxiety and stress.
First let’s take a look at the many different types of lies, some of which you may not ever have considered.
Little white lies
(Yes, omission and minimization are type of lies.)
All of these forms of deceit create that mental discomfort. Your mind knows the truth, and knows when you tell a lie. Therefore, a little part of your brain stores that fact away, and it’s bothersome. It’s like knowing you have a sliver in your hand, or knowing you have six loads of laundry waiting to be done. It feels uncomfortable, and it doesn’t go away. In fact, it often grows bigger . . .
One lie usually leads to another, and another, which then must be covered up by another, and so on. All types of lies lead to the nasty web of deception. At this point the discomfort becomes much more than bothersome. The web forms quickly and spirals out of control. Once it is woven, there is no escaping. It can stress you out, keep you up at night, give you breakouts, ulcers and migraines, and has the very real potential to embarrass and humiliate you. Let’s face it, lying NEVER ends well.
We urge you to avoid the web of deception at all costs. The only way to avoid it is NOT to tell the lie in the first place. No matter what the case, be authentic. We are not talking about extreme cases, but about every day communication with those around us. It’s really not as hard to do as you might think. Once you get into the habit of being honest in all that you say and do, it will come naturally to you. You’ll never have to try to remember what you said to whom if you always tell the truth. You’ll never misrepresent yourself or falsify anything in your life.
What about those times when you have to lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, you ask? First of all, there are no times when you have to lie. You do not have to compromise your integrity or values to save anyone else’s feelings. It is always your choice to tell the truth or not. In fact, more times than not, you will be doing the other person a favor by telling them the truth. Second, it is possible to be honest without hurting someone’s feelings. If you think the truth will hurt someone, use tact, common sense, and be kind. As long as you maintain your integrity, you can never go wrong with the truth.
Of course, authentic living takes practice, and a great deal of responsibility, but it is well worth it. Be conscious of what you say and do. Just try it for a day, a week, a month. We guarantee you’ll benefit from it.
Click the link below for interesting reasons why people lie. Notice that all thirty of the reasons are negative. This only serves to reinforce our advice: Just don’t lie.