Category Archives: Advice


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Have a Pity Party

Our goal is to help people deal with depression, fight depression, and heal depression. In no way are we suggesting that you should ignore depression or remain that way, but we want you to know that it is ok to be depressed sometimes. You are allowed to feel that way. Whether you have been diagnosed with depression or just feel blue, we want you to relax and stop beating yourself up over it. This is a key factor in being able to accept and deal with your depression in order to get healthy.

Give yourself a break. You must not think that you are bad, weak, abnormal or a victim because you are depressed. You are not alone. One in four people is said to suffer from depression, anxiety, or some other form of psychological problem. To put that into perspective, think of this. If Yankee Stadium was full to capacity with 55,546 people, there could be 18,125 depressed fans sitting there . . . and even more if their team loses. That’s a lot of depressed people.

Once you are committed to getting professional help or helping yourself, start the process of healing by relaxing. Do not stress out over a diagnosis or feelings of depression. Depression is not an incurable disease. It is treatable. You can do this. Unless your depression is so severe that you cannot function, or you pose a threat to yourself or others, we suggest that you allow yourself to experience your depression for a short period of time without any guilt, shame or hopelessness.

Allow yourself to have a pity-party. Feel sorry for yourself. Feel bad. Feel cheated. Feel scared. Feel crazy. Feel angry. Cry. Scream. Punch a pillow or work out to expel your negative energy. Write down how you feel. Write down all the negative things you’d like to do or say on a piece of paper then burn it and watch the ashes float away. Who is to say that pity-parties are not “healthy” anyway? The first step to fixing a problem is often admitting that you have one. Let’s not refer to acceptance as a pity party, but instead, think of it as a time out. Give yourself a short period of time to be depressed. It’s ok.

Give yourself an hour, an afternoon or even a day (but no longer) to live through it. Feel it. Get to know it. Listen to your thoughts. Feel how your body reacts to it physically. Experience your depression with no consequences, no expectations and no judgment.  Lie in bed all day. Don’t take a shower. Turn your phone off. Binge watch every season of something. Eat rocky road out of the carton. Feel your depression.

When you know what you are dealing with and you have a relaxed attitude towards it, you will be better prepared to beat it. Party on!


This is for general information purposes only and is not meant to serve as a substitute for seeking professional psychiatric advice or care.


Sharing Advice We Love

Every now and then we come across an article that we feel compelled to share. This is one of those articles. It includes “6 positive psychology tips to improve your everyday life.” It’s a short 6 minute read. We love the comment by the author that says,

“These tips or strategies aren’t intended to solve all your problems or cure depression. I hope they’re simply a reminder of the little things we can do for ourselves to create more positive energy and emotional well being.”

That is exactly what we strive to do with our blog. We know depression is a very serious illness, and only hope our words can both motivate people to get the help they need and also learn how to help themselves feel just a little bit better. 

Please check out the link below & keep smiling!




Practical Advice on Body Weight & Depression

Unfortunately, in our society, weight is often a determinant of how we feel about ourselves. Body image has become a huge issue in recent years. Therefore, it is often tied to depression. We would like to offer some simple advice on how to avoid making body weight an issue in your life. We will keep it simple…very simple, by using a logical A+B=C formula. However, first you have to understand this concept:

Understand that your weight does not determine whether you are happy or unhappy. You control your own feelings. You can be happy no matter how much you weigh. However, if you are unhappy with something about yourself, like your weight, you can do something about it. This is no different than if you don’t like your hair color. You can change it. You can do something about your weight if you want to. If you do not have any medical reasons for weight gain, you can do lose weight. It is physically possible for every healthy person to do so. Remember You control You. No one can do it for you. You have to decide whether you want to lose weight or not. Continue reading

You are in Control of You

I’ve kept this quote hanging on a bulletin board in my home for more than 15 years. It is a timeless truth. Read it and live it. 

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company, a church, a home.
The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” 
Charles Swindoll (Strengthening Your Grip; Words/Insight for Living)

Advice: Why Do I Feel This Way?

“There is nothing wrong with me. I am healthy, pretty, smart and fun to be around. I don’t have cancer or any kind of deformity. I don’t even have acne. I have a great family who loves me and lots and lots of good friends. I’d even say I am popular at my school. I play softball and I’m really good at it; probably the best pitcher in the district. I have never suffered from any kind of tragedy and have no deep dark secrets. Why then, do I feel depressed?

It’s not like it happens when I am sad or mad or anything. It happens out of the blue. It hits me mostly when I am alone. I don’t even mind being alone, so I don’t know why it comes. I will be feeling fine and then it’s like a fog washes over me. I seem to get lost or stuck in the fog. Bad thoughts come to my mind. I get down on myself for no real reason. I feel like I am not good enough. I don’t like myself. I feel like no one else likes me either. Actually, I hate myself. I get upset. Sometimes I have trouble breathing because it is like the fog gets in my lungs. I get close to panicking. I feel like I am going to totally lose it. If anyone calls, texts or bothers me when I feel this way I ignore them or snap at them. I can be mean. I know I scared my little brother a couple of times screaming at him to leave me alone.

I want to know why this happens to me. Why do I feel this way? I could understand if someone like my friend Cameron felt this way. She has lots of reasons to be depressed. Her parents got divorced. She broke her arm and will never play softball again. She put on 30 pounds. She should be depressed, not me. Or what about Chloe? She lost her sister in a car wreck. She has problems. She should be depressed, not someone like me.

I want to know why it happens and how to stop it. I can’t talk about it to anyone, because they will just say the same thing I am thinking. There is no reason for me to be depressed. It doesn’t make sense. I hide it from my family, because I don’t want them to think I am crazy. I must be crazy, because there is really NO REASON for me to be so depressed.

This has been happening for as long as I can remember. Now it is happening more and more frequently and getting worse. Why do I feel this way? What do I do? Please help.”

This is an example of one of the most common types of recurrent depression and it can be treated successfully. You are not crazy, and you do not need to suffer any more. You say there is no reason for you to be depressed, but there really is. It’s in your brain. This does not mean that there is something “wrong” with your brain either. Depression is first and foremost a chemical beast, not just an emotional one. The chemicals in your brain affect your emotions. There does not need to be anything outwardly “wrong” in your life to cause you to experience depression. It is a simple chemical imbalance which is very, very, very common. We can’t express that enough. There are thousands upon thousands of people whose brains are just like yours. There are also thousands upon thousands more who haven’t had the courage to tell anyone about it. As the stigma surrounding mental health is disappearing, we are just now seeing an influx of people willing to talk about and get treatment for their depression.   Continue reading

Advice: Learn to Recognize FEAR

When an error light is on in your car, you have to identify what the problem is. When you figure out what is wrong, you are able to fix it. In your car, the cause of the problem is usually very clear. Your coolant level is low, so you need to add coolant to fix it. Your brake pads are worn, so you need to replace them. It’s that simple. Unfortunately, the opposite is usually true when it comes to problems with how you feel.

When you have a problem and feel bad, angry, depressed, or irritable, you have to identify why you feel that way. When you figure out what is wrong, you are able to deal with it. The majority of the time, however, it is not clear why you feel bad, so you don’t know how to deal with it. In fact, many times the reason for the way you feel may be disguised as something else. Therefore, identifying the root of the problem and dealing with your emotions is far from simple. Nine times out of ten, the root of a problem is much different than what it seems to be on the surface.

Fear is one of those feelings than can be very tricky to identify. Fear is often disguised as other things. Have you ever heard the phrase that all anger comes from fear? That’s because anger is a psychological defense for fear. Fear is also disguised as jealousy, hate and dislike to name a few. The following situations illustrate this point. Continue reading