Do you ever do yourself a favor? Do you sometimes treat yourself to something special? How about coddling? Do you ever pamper yourself? Doing something good for yourself every now and then is very important for your mental health. You deserve it. Everyone should be able to love themselves. Unfortunately, when you feel depressed, often the opposite is true. Some depressed patients actually feel like they hate themselves and feel unworthy of any coddling or treat. They are not very nice to themselves and feel like they should be punished, not pampered. This attitude has a very detrimental effect on healing.
When you are feeling depressed it is the best time to pamper yourself. You should make a point to treat yourself well. Before you became depressed you probably did like yourself. You are still the same person. You still deserve to do something good just for little-old-you every now and then.
Remember, you are not a victim of depression. You are in control. It’s imperative that you learn to love yourself, respect yourself, and help yourself get better. Make it a point to do something nice for yourself once a day, once a week or even just once a month. Smile at yourself. Listen to some good music. Read some jokes and laugh out loud. Eat some chocolate. Take a sick day and read an entire book or go see the latest movie. Buy a small trinket. Plant a flower for yourself. Get your hair or nails done or go out and test drive that luxury sedan. I know you can think of something. Write it on your calendar: TREAT MYSELF, one day of each month or more often.
Treating yourself not only means coddling yourself every now and then, but also includes thinking good thoughts about yourself. Continue reading
What is normal? Normal is the way things are most of the time. It is what you believe to be true on a regular basis. Some synonyms include:
Normal as it pertains to yourself is the way you think you are supposed to be. For instance, if you consider yourself to be smart and hard-working, that is normal for you. If you believe that the majority of the time you are very healthy and fit, then that is what your normal is. If you are a hot-head, a big-eater, a slacker, the life of the party, a dentist, a doctor or a teacher that is your normal. The sum of whatever you believe you are is what normal is for you.
Unfortunately, most people believe that if something is not normal, it is not right. They think that if something is not the way it should be or the way it always has been, it must be wrong or abnormal. Synonyms for abnormal include:
The problem with this line of thinking as it pertains to yourself is that normal is looked at as good, and abnormal is connotated as bad. Therefore, whenever you deviate from your norm, you feel like you are being bad. You feel like there is something wrong with you. You feel depressed. Let’s look at some real-life examples. Continue reading
“You are not me. You don’t know how I feel. You’ll never know what I am going through. You just don’t understand me. No one understands me. It is different with me. YOU DON’T GET IT! None of your advice will work for me. It’s just not the same for me. I am different. No one can help me. NO ONE GETS ME!”
Do any of these comments sound familiar?
Is this the way you feel?
Do you think no one gets you?
Do you think no one understands?
Well guess what . . .
YOU ARE WRONG!
You are really not as different as you think you are.
Don’t take offense and stop reading. Hear us out. We know that you are unique. That is 100% true. No one has the exact same perceptions, experiences, personality, genetics, etc. (even identical twins). Every person is different and special in their own way. However, every person is also the same.
We are all human. If we get cut, we bleed. We all have the same basic needs and experience the same human emotions. Think of snowflakes. Every individual flake is different, but they are really all the same. They are all snowflakes and they all fall from the sky. Just as snowflakes are snowflakes, humans are humans. We may have variances, but we are all basically wired the same. Even when that wiring is crossed somehow that makes you a bit different from the majority, there are still plenty of other people out there with those same type of crossed wires.
Look up any subject on the internet and you will find a multitude of conversations about it. Even the rarest of diseases has a community of people online who are all dealing with the very same thing. Our point is that when you are feeling like you are “the only one” going through something, or think that “no one understands you,” you are wrong. You are flat-out wrong. Someone out there is going through the same thing. Someone out there does understand you. There are people out there who do “get it” and their knowledge can help you. Therefore, our depression hack is for you to know that you are not alone. The only way to see this, however, is to reach out to others. Continue reading
Many of you have probably heard about the benefits of laughter as it pertains to mental health. It’s been proven that laughing lifts your mood by releasing feel-good endorphins, relaxing muscles, decreasing stress hormones, etc. The problem is that when you are suffering from depression, there is often not much to laugh about. When you are feeling sad, angry, irritable or just low, you don’t usually find things funny. In fact, humor may tend to annoy you more than it will make you laugh. So how then, do you get the benefits of laughter?
Like all of our depression hacks, you have to make an effort to aid your own healing. If you truly want to help yourself feel better when you are depressed, consciously try to learn how to laugh more, practice and repeat.
The key is to make yourself open to laughter. Sometimes you have to consciously decide to do this. Smiling helps. Thinking about something you have laughed at in the past can help as well. I will never forget the time my English mother was trying to read signs that were mostly in French. She pronounced one “Ayy-oooo-tow Sales.” We all laughed until we cried when we realized the sign said “Auto Sales” in plain English. Thinking of that cracks me up every time. Surely you can recall something that made you laugh and draw on that for help.
Here are a few more tips: Continue reading
Sometimes sage advice from the past rings true in the future. Never has that been more true than with the old adage: Ignorance is bliss.
In today’s world of unlimited connection, we know everything about everyone, everywhere, instantly.
What if we didn’t?
What if we unplugged and only “knew” about what we cared to know about?
The answer is simple.
Life would be a lot more blissful.
We are not saying that you should be ignorant of every negative thing in the world. That would be irresponsible. What we are focusing on is ignorance as it pertains to our personal lives . . . who and what you choose to be a part of your world and what constitutes your reality. You do have control over this. Continue reading
Everyone has expectations in life, whether it be what they expect from others or what they expect out of themselves. Expectations about others are generally bad to have because we cannot control others, and those expectations may never be met. Expectations about ourselves, however, are generally good, because they can keep us motivated, on the right track and accountable for our actions. Nevertheless, you need to be mindful of your personal expectations, and realize that meeting them is not always what is best for you. Personal expectations can push us forward as well as hold us back.
Take this real-life case for example. Beth had reasonable expectations for herself. She wanted to be a good person, get a college degree, land a great job and eventually get married and start a family. She met all of her expectations over the course of her life until her husband of 20 years divorced her for a younger woman and moved to Spain. Continue reading